Going back over 100,000 years ago (and probably longer), societies were very different from the patriarchal societies we see in most of the world today. Matriarchal societies are true gender-egalitarian societies (all contribute equally), where even though women are at the centre, men also have an equal role to play. They are not the opposite of patriarchal societies, where women dominate instead of men. In fact the word matriarchy can be seen as meaning ‘the mothers from the beginning’, referring to giving birth, mothers are responsible for the beginning of life and also the beginnings of the culture of the society (Matriarchal Societies – Heide Goettner-Abendroth). The culture is a peaceful way of life, where there is greater co-operation, nurturing, equality, inspiration and acceptance of each other’s roles within the society. On a spiritual level, women are seen as sacred; the Divine Feminine, and are revered. Women have greater power and self-determination without feeling they have to become ‘men’, they can be themselves. They do not dominate, but become empowered, women can lead – lead does not equate to dominate. It means she who carries the lamp goes first (The Goddess, a beginner’s guide – Teresa Moorey).
These women all those years ago had their feminine voice and it is time now to reclaim yours (if you haven’t already!). It is about what we do and feel, about our inner truths, what inspires us, what our values are. Letting go of right and wrong, what other people may think of us or comparing ourselves to others. Feeling comfortable to just be ourselves, without losing sight of our feminine qualities of love, nurturing, compassion. Now is the time to dance to the beat of your own drum…
But where do you start? From the day we were born we have been shaped by everything we hear and experience, by expectations of a patriarchal society. If we choose to have a career, we are expected to compete in a masculine way, rather than being our Divine Feminine selves, not always being offered the same opportunities as men doing the same work. From my experience starting a banking career in 1976, men were automatically promoted to cashiers after 6 months, whereas women historically languished in the back office for ever and a day. As a young 18 year old, I challenged that, but had to complete the first course of my banking exams before I could be promoted, which took 12 months. I am glad to say things have moved on.
A starting point is to review where you are now. Whose voice tells you what you should or shouldn’t do? Do you feel able to state what you want in an empowered way or do you always go along with what everyone else tells you or wants you to do – a people pleaser? Do you seek permission before you do something, or spend money on something? When did you last do something just for you, without feeling guilty? Does your relationship feel equal and fulfilling? All these questions and probably many more, depending on your circumstances, are important to inform where you are now and determine how ‘loud’ your feminine voice is. It is always useful to write things down in a journal, treat yourself to something beautiful or that inspires you. As well as the questions above, look back to the second paragraph for more. As you work your way through these questions, begin to think about what you would like instead if you are not happy, what can you do differently, to enable you to find your feminine voice? Talking this through with a friend or therapist may make this task easier.
I like to think of women as Goddesses, we all have our inner Goddess, who should be honoured. When we begin to see ourselves as Goddess, we can begin to wake up and appreciate the power within ourselves already, that we may not have valued or realise that we have. We do not have to look outside ourselves, just look inwards and the answers are already there, they just need stillness and quiet to be heard. Meditation is a great way to allow this to happen.
Iris J Stewart in her book Sacred Women, Sacred Dance, says ‘The most important meaning of the Goddess for us today is the acknowledgement of female energy as a legitimate and independent power, a beneficent power we can trust within ourselves and other women… it is crucial for us as women to claim spaces and times for ourselves… to use our inherent gifts, overcome our own fears, and become the authors of our own destinies’
By understanding what beliefs and thoughts are driving your behaviour, and replacing them with thoughts that actually work for you, a transformation in the way you think, feel and behave can take place. You can step into your Goddess and Divine Feminine, onto your Spiritual Path, and start to feel empowered to live the life YOU want to.
